Maybe you're too much or maybe you just have some alpha female wolf energy...
For most of my life I was convinced that I was not doing the good girl or good woman role very well. Too opinionated, too defiant, too loud, too assertive, too much in general for men.
I’ve learned with age that I didn’t need to adhere to the arbitrary rules set by the patriarchy but I won’t lie, sometimes I still find myself wondering, even if briefly, if I wasn’t born quite soft or gentle enough.
Worrying thoughts along the line of,
“Am I just a difficult person?
Why can’t I get along with everyone easily?
Am I always going to have so many opinions?
Will I always want to punch an authority figure when they tell me what to do?”
You get the picture. There is a part of me that resists being the easy go with the flow nice girl. I so badly always wanted to be the chill person but more often than not find myself described as ‘no chill’.
I’ve come a long way healing this wound. I’ve learned through years of therapy, meditation, talking to my guides and female ancestors that there’s not one correct way to exist in this lifetime. The rules I still find myself coming back to when I’m feeling low were not written by humans to help us, they were written by men and those in power to control us.
The biggest breakthrough I’ve had in this lifetime recently came in the form of a book. More specifically a book about a female alpha wolf named Oh-Six. 06 lived in Yellowstone and is a legend among wolf biologists. She defied so many odds and broke so many norms. Thanks to her biologist have rewritten the stereotypes of female wolves.
06 taught biologists that the pack is not held together by the strength of its alpha male, but rather the wisdom, compassion, and intelligence of its alpha female.
06 was a wolf like no other. Where most wolves hunt with at least three others, 06 would go head to head with a 500lb elk by herself to take it down.
Multiple times she was seen outsmarting grizzly bears and leading them away from her den. She steered her pack to avoid conflict, limiting the chance of attacks from other packs. However, when challenged, she showed no fear in defending her territory and her family. She was described as one of the most fearless wolves they had recorded.
While biologist have seen that many female wolves take a mate once they are courted by a large and strong male, 06 rejected countless suitors for years. Biologists were baffled that she turned one male away after another. They would later learn that the males she would chose to pair with would turn out to be some of the best fathers and partners the park had seen.
Multiple times, biologists observed one of the males of her pack trying to eat before her or approach her when she wasn’t in the mood. Every time 06 put them in their place and didn’t back down. They soon learned not to push her or test her limits. Multiple times the male wolves were observed hiding meat away for later for themselves. Every time, 06 would sniff it out, dig it up and eat it before they got back.
It became clear to researchers that this was not a household run by the father but rather by the Mother.
06 was a female wolf who tackled elk alone, bite grizzly bears, rejected males, raised pups, guided her pack from danger, and spared the lives of rival wolves.
06 was ferocious yet gentle,
protective yet compassionate,
a strong leader and a team player.
She was all the things that we are often told we are not allowed to simultaneously be.
Next time you feel like too much – too loud, too opinionated, too picky, too strong, I invite you to consider that perhaps you just have some female alpha wolf energy in you.